Okay I’ll admit it.. I am the ultimate helicopter mom. I follow Ava everywhere.. if I really did have propellers Ava’s head would be chopped off because I hover so close, too close. But seriously I don’t follow her around because I am worried about her (well, maybe a little). I just love being with her and playing with her. When I take her to the park, I don’t take her so that she can play, I take her so that we can play. But now things are different and I’m not sure which one of us is struggling more. People often ask, how’s Ava doing. I think the real question should be, “how are you doing Jenn?” And the answer to that would be TERRIBLE. I love both of my girls so much, it’s killing me that I can’t do everything all the time for both of them.
We had a playdate at the park today and it just hurt my heart to see Ava out on the playground all by herself. Her friends were there but three year olds easily lose one another and don’t bother to go looking for each other. I was in the shade nursing Annalise watching Ava play. I wanted to cry. why? I don’t know, I’m emotional and felt so sad that I couldn’t be out there with her. Every now and then I would lose sight of her and panic a little. She came to me telling me she fell down and that she cried for me and I wasn’t there (ouch.. another stab in my heart). I explained why I couldn’t leave Annalise. Then she told me that she wished Annalise was still in my tummy. Hey we’re making progress though.. last time she made a comment like this she just wanted her gone completely.
So for all of you wondering how Ava is doing, well, she’s an awesome big sister but sharing mommy is hard. And for me, being shared is hard too.
A few pictures:
The joys of being a little sister. Ava loves to “decorate” Annalise.
How I love it when Annalise puckers her little lips!
Annalise is learning to like her binky!
cute baby in the tubby
This picture is too funny! Since Annalise’s birth Ava has called her “head”. Not a nickname that I really want to stick but I have often wondered why. This picture explains it all! Annalise is one giant head. Doesn’t her head look photo-shopped?
Oh Jenn…I wish I had advice to give you, but I don’t…I do know that you are a wonderful mother, and that both of your girls are lucky to have you. I can’t imagine how tough things are for you right now…but hang in there! You’re a strong person and I’m sure things will straighten out soon! If you ever need someone to watch Annalise for a while so you and Ava can have a mommy-Ava day, let me know!
like how you and scott became a new family when you had your first child…you have again become a new family with adding a 2nd. it’s a tough adjustment for everyone, but you find how your new family works. every day is not easy or fun…but soon enough you’ll find the fun times far outweigh the hard times. ask another mama to come visit you on the tough days…you don’t have to be perfect and do this alone jenn. other moms have been there and know what it’s like and all moms love to help another mom out!
I hear ya and I don’t have any advice either. When you told me one of your mom friends said with 3 kids there was always someone being ignored or wanting I said I felt like that with 2. It’s a hard asjustment but the hard days become less as time goes by. Oh I remember trying to b feed Abbey and comfort Sophia at the same time…. I’m really happy there aren’t any National Geographic type photos of that.
You’re a great mom and that makes sharing hard. You’re not perfect you’re just a great mom with lots of love. Being sad and happy about the changes from 1-2 is normal and you have to go with it… let it out when you need to. And I also agree that moms love to help out other moms!
and yes I see the big head… luckily babies grow into their heads 🙂