Okay I’ll admit it.. I am the ultimate helicopter mom. I follow Ava everywhere.. if I really did have propellers Ava’s head would be chopped off because I hover so close, too close. But seriously I don’t follow her around because I am worried about her (well, maybe a little). I just love being with her and playing with her. When I take her to the park, I don’t take her so that she can play, I take her so that we can play. But now things are different and I’m not sure which one of us is struggling more. People often ask, how’s Ava doing. I think the real question should be, “how are you doing Jenn?” And the answer to that would be TERRIBLE. I love both of my girls so much, it’s killing me that I can’t do everything all the time for both of them.

We had a playdate at the park today and it just hurt my heart to see Ava out on the playground all by herself. Her friends were there but three year olds easily lose one another and don’t bother to go looking for each other. I was in the shade nursing Annalise watching Ava play. I wanted to cry. why? I don’t know, I’m emotional and felt so sad that I couldn’t be out there with her. Every now and then I would lose sight of her and panic a little. She came to me telling me she fell down and that she cried for me and I wasn’t there (ouch.. another stab in my heart). I explained why I couldn’t leave Annalise. Then she told me that she wished Annalise was still in my tummy. Hey we’re making progress though.. last time she made a comment like this she just wanted her gone completely.

So for all of you wondering how Ava is doing, well, she’s an awesome big sister but sharing mommy is hard. And for me, being shared is hard too.

A few pictures:

The joys of being a little sister. Ava loves to “decorate” Annalise.

How I love it when Annalise puckers her little lips!

Annalise is learning to like her binky!

cute baby in the tubby

This picture is too funny! Since Annalise’s birth Ava has called her “head”. Not a nickname that I really want to stick but I have often wondered why. This picture explains it all! Annalise is one giant head. Doesn’t her head look photo-shopped?

Baby Fuhrman has not arrived yet. I think I got mine and everyone else’s hopes up that baby would come early. I have been so uncomfortable I thought for sure God would bless me with an early delivery.. apparently He’s got other plans. I suppose I should feel very thankful that baby is so happy in my warm, safe tummy. We’ve been trying to focus less on the arrival of baby and more on enjoying our time without a needy, housebound newborn.

Ava tried fishing for the first time this weekend. There are a couple of ponds right near our house that fish and game stock. Ava caught two fish at McDevitt pond and even hooked her own worm (I have never even done that!).

Farley really wanted to go for a swim!

PRESCHOOL CARNIVAL

Ava has wrapped up her first year of preschool. We love her school and are so excited to attend again in the fall.

found a puppy to love

tired and ready to go home.

Ava has rediscovered her love of ants. She has to put them in containers because she’s “saving them from the cold.”

all the ants on the left are dead

Although I am ready to hold baby in my arms and give it lots of kisses, we are cherishing these last moments as a family of three before we become four.

I get that boys and girls are wired differently. I get that typically boys enjoy a little rougher play, can be a bit more rambunctious, and have more energy to burn. I am not making a blanket statement for all boys, nor am I excluding girls. But I am so tired of hearing mothers with aggressive boys say, “He’s such a boy” or “boys will be boys”. Why am I bringing this up you ask? Because my child was a victim of a boy being “such a boy” today and I am so mad that the mother of Mr. bully just shrugs it off like it’s just a boy thing.

Here’s the scenario:

Our playgroup was at Burger King this afternoon and all the kids were playing in the play structure. Ava managed to get pretty high up but then found herself unable to go any further. She was scared to go up and scared to come down. She began calling for me. Keep in mind that this playplace looks as though it was purposely designed to keep parents out. The only way up is to weave between staggered triangles 2 feet apart. Being 30 weeks pregnant I did not feel it was in my best interest to climb up to Ava so instead I tried coaching her from below. Ava was still stuck when Mr. Bully came up behind her. He wanted to go up, she wasn’t moving. Being a child of few words, he began pounding her repeatedly in the head. Ava began to cry. I took my big basketball tummy and slid between the triangles to get to Ava as quickly as I could. The other moms began calling out to me asking if I should be doing this. Did I have a choice? Of course I was going up there! Ava was so upset asking why he hit her. I figured mr. bully just didn’t have the words he needed to say excuse me so he chose to hit instead.

Ava kept her distance from mr. bully but eventually their paths crossed. Ava was not in his way, she didn’t even look at him when he went running by, but for some reason he stopped in his tracks at the sight of her and began punching her in the head AGAIN! I don’t mean a hit and then he runs away. I mean he just stands there pounding on her over and over. I was livid!! I called out his name telling him to stop as I awkwardly made my way up again. He ran away just as I got to Ava who was sobbing. She has never been put in this situation. She didn’t understand and she didn’t know what to do. She looked at me with huge tears rolling down her cheeks asking what she should do, I told her to hit him back. Her eyes widened. She said, “I’m not going to hit him. That’s mean.” I don’t usually advocate hitting, but for the purpose of self-defense, I am certainly not against it. Not really knowing if she would understand the difference I attempted to explain when hitting was okay and when it’s not okay. She seemed to understand, but still insisted that she was not going to hit him. I suggested telling him to stop, or running away. Even after all of this, mr. b’s mom didn’t do anything. Ava still wanted to play. I wanted to leave but didn’t feel Ava should be punished for someone else’s behavior.

Mr. b tried to get her one last time but this time they were down low and Mama bear (that’s me!) was right there before he could even throw one punch! His mom finally intervened, but then just looked at me apologetically and said, “he’s all boy”. give me a break! He can still learn right from wrong!